Fear is a crazy thing! It’s an ancient, internal response left over from the days of impending danger, like an attacking mountain lion. These days there aren’t many mountain lions around, yet our response to fear is still the same. So, do you know the difference between the 2 fears: physical danger fear and good fear?
Good fear is the fear you feel when you’re concerned about a goal and want to get it right.
The problem is if you don’t distinguish between the 2 types of fears, you’ll respond the same way to any situation … running away, avoiding, and/or doing nothing.
Not knowing the difference keeps you from achieving your goals and having the success you really want. It can also be the reason you haven’t moved your business into design service fees, aren’t being paid what you’re really worth, and generally feeling unappreciated by the clients you’re helping.
I’m no stranger to this dilemma. Breaking through and understanding my fears (and yes, there have been many), helped me discover it’s far greater, and far more disturbing, to be afraid than to move towards the goal I was so worried about.
The first step is to recognize the fear… what are you afraid of?
Once you acknowledge you aren’t actually going to get hurt, that is, you don’t need to run fast to get away, you can take a closer look at what’s going on internally and why you’re feeling this way.
Is your fear real today?
Often fears are from early childhood experiences you’ve carried forward into your adult life. When you look at them today, you can reframe those experiences, so they support you and your goals, instead of getting in your way or stopping you from achieving your dreams.
For instance, you might recognize you were told to “always think of others first, don’t be selfish, and keep everyone happy” as a child. This may explain why you feel scared to ask for higher rates for your services. This old belief says, “You should do your best for the client first and then they’ll take care of you with afterwards.”
But you already know clients don’t “take care” or reward you for your extra up front efforts… they actually take advantage of you, often to the point that you feel resentful and unappreciated.
Instead, reframe this old belief with, “I’ll always think of my family first and try to help everyone be happy. My clients are not family; they’re part of my business and in my business, I charge my clients for all of my time spent. In exchange, I give them exceptional service, a great design, and they love me.”
And finally, release the emotional energy around this old belief.
Go for a walk, run, ride, dance, or do some yoga … anything to burn off the accumulated energy you created by worrying about this belief in the past.
You’re now ready say “NO” to old, unexamined fears that were preventing you from getting what you want!
Set your intention to push through the fear and go after what you need to do.
Why? Because what you want is just on the other side of the fear.