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Letting Go of What Doesn’t Serve You

Sometimes we can find ourselves in situations or relationships that are not providing us with what we need in order to move forward in our lives. This often happens over time – little by little – with small shifts in our thoughts, attitudes and environment.

It’s often rooted in a belief that we have about ourselves. It may start as a small statement, a flicker of doubt and over time become the default thinking pattern.

For example, have you ever told yourself any of the statements below?

  • I’m not good enough, yet.
  • People won’t pay me that much.
  • I can’t possibly connect to those high end clients.

If so, stop and think about how you’re affecting the outcome of your goals. All of them are negative and damaging thoughts, and they’re preventing you from getting what you want.

Relationships with the people we love may also be sources of negative energy and beliefs we have in our lives. These relationships start out with a great connection, lots of support, shared honesty and communication… and then small shifts start happening.

Shifts so small that you didn’t even notice when they started but now the person who used to be so helpful is instead creating situations that keep you from being successful and fulfilled.

Let’s say, for example, you’re working on your Inner Game when you’re about to quote the biggest fee you’ve ever proposed for a design project. You share what you’re working on with your important person and they say, “Nobody is going to pay you that much!”

Well, that feedback might stop you in your tracks! This kind of negative energy is hard to overcome when you’re working on getting to the next level of success. So please read below for strategies to help this Inner Game challenge.

Get a pencil and piece of paper, and follow these tips:

1. Clearly identify the problem and where it’s coming from.

Write down all the ways that this problem affects your life and business. Be sure to take responsibility for the fact that you allowed them to happen and that you’re ultimately responsible for resolving any issues.

2. Apply the “what if” question and write out your answers.

What if this (belief) was not true?
What if (what that person said) was not true for you?
What could you do if (what that person said) was not true?
What opportunities are available if (what that person said) is not true?

3. Write an affirmation about the belief that you want to shift.

For example, “My work brings enormous beauty and transformation to the lives of my clients. My clients are happy to generously pay me what I am worth.”

And if you have a loved one who doesn’t realize the impact of their words, write a script and ask them to say this to you before they leave in the morning and when you’re talking about design service offers for potential clients.

Something like: “I know that what you will do for your clients will just blow them away, their lives will be so much better, you are worth every dollar they pay you.”

4. Post YOUR statement in places where you’ll see it often AND say it out loud to yourself twice a day.


Follow these steps and you’ll be amazed at how your Inner Game shifts. We never stop working on our Inner and Outer Games; we just get better at knowing the rules and using them to achieve our goals.


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