What’s the Story You’re Telling Yourself?

Have you ever talked yourself out of something before you’ve even given it a chance?

Maybe you were ready to call a builder about a dream project. Maybe you were about to present your design fee. Maybe you decided it was finally time to run your business differently… and then your mind stepped in.

“What if they say no?”

“What if they won’t pay that much?”

“What if this doesn’t work for my clients?”

If those thoughts sound familiar, I want you to know something. They’re stories. And most of the time, they’re stories that simply aren’t true.

Valerie and I see this every day with designers. These stories feel so real that they quietly start running your business. The interesting part? Most of them haven’t happened… and probably never will.

Sometimes they begin with one uncomfortable experience. A difficult client. A proposal that didn’t go your way. Your brain decides it’s protecting you, and before long, that one experience becomes the story you expect every time.

When Stories Keep You Stuck

Once you believe the story, you start preparing for it instead of preparing for success.

You rehearse conversations that never happen. You imagine objections your client never raises. You convince yourself you need more experience before you’re ready.

Meanwhile, the opportunity slips away.

I hear it all the time.

“That won’t work in my area.”

“My clients won’t pay that.”

“They expect me to do it this way.”

But here’s the thing: those aren’t your clients talking. That’s your story talking.

One of the easiest ways to catch yourself is to listen for the words “What if…”

The moment those words appear, stop and ask yourself: Has this actually happened? (You’ll find that usually, the answer is no.)

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, ask yourself a better question: What do I want to happen?

Walk into every client meeting expecting a win, for you and for them. Show up ready to listen instead of defending yourself against questions that may never be asked. When you’re present, you’re able to respond naturally because you already know your stuff.

Trade the Story for Confidence

Designers often forget that clients hire them because they trust their expertise. They’re not looking for a debate about your pricing or your process. They’re looking for someone who can confidently guide them.

When you stop preparing for imaginary problems, you create space to be that leader.

Yes, your brain is trying to keep you safe. It’s doing exactly what it was designed to do. But today there isn’t a tiger chasing you. The fear you’re feeling is usually just an old story replaying itself.

Awareness is the first step. Once you notice the story, you can choose not to believe it. Then take the next step anyway.

Every time you do, confidence grows. Not because you thought your way through it, but because you acted.

So this week, pay attention to the stories your mind wants to tell you. Notice them. Smile at them if you need to. Then leave them outside the door.

You might discover that the conversation you were so worried about never happens at all—and that what’s waiting on the other side is exactly the opportunity you’ve been hoping for.

You can listen to the full podcast episode here.

Until then, design something beautiful… and get paid what you’re worth.

With love,

Terr